A Parable of Two Carpenters

From: Randall Hyde (randyhyde_at_earthlink.net)
Date: 11/21/03 

Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2003 22:31:19 GMT

This is a tale of two carpenters.
One walked the Earth 2,000 years ago,
One mocks others' work today.

The first carpenter was born of a virgin,
People who know the second carpenter wish
his mom had remained a virgin.

The first carpenter said "I am the truth,
the way, the life." The second carpenter
calls other people "swindlers" because
they don't do things his way and he wishes
them a happy death.

The first carpenter assembled huge crowds
to listen to him preach. The second carpenter
uses his assembler to scare away huge crowds.

The first carpenter, by his grace, gives
away eternal life, and doesn't place any
restrictions, like the GPL, on that gift.
The second carpinter gives away his assembler,
subject of course, to the restrictions of
the GPL.

The first carpenter is busy preparing a
place for us in his father's house, which
has many rooms. The second carpenter is
busy preparing an assembler that has many
things you don't normally find in an
assembler (like ASCII charts).

The first carpenter tells us that whosoever
belives in him will not perish. The second
carpenter tells us that we should believe him,
someday he'll get the bugs out of his code.

The first carpenter said that we should trust
in his Father, the most high. The second
carpenter says we should not trust anything
high-level at all.

The first carpenter died on a cross for our sins.
The second carpenter is cross with us for the
sin of using someone else's assembler.

The first carpenter said "Render under Caesar,
that which is Caesar's..." The second carpenter
says that it's okay to use software without
paying for it because all software should be
free anyway.

The first carpenter said that in order to have
eternal life, we must be reborn as a little child.
The second carpenter said that for his assembler
to have any life, assembly must be reborn.

The first carpenter said "my words will last
forever". The second carpenter changed the name
of his assembler because the original incarnation
garnered such bad publicity.

The first carpenter came to Earth to fight satan
and all that is evil. The second carpenter uses
his assembler as a weapon to fight: (1) Microsoft,
(2) HLA, (3) MASM, (4) Bill Gates, (5) Randy Hyde,
(6) Steve Hutchessen, and of course, that
"Evil Satan" the United States of America.
Ocassionally, the second carpenter uses his
assembler to fight various other evil doers, too.

The first carpenter rose from the dead on the
third day. The second carpenter resurrected his
assembler after it should have been left for dead.

The first carpenter was crucified.
The second carpenter likes to crucify other products.

The first carpenter spoke in parables.
The second carpenter speaks in nonsense.

The first carpenter said "drink this wine in
remembrance of me." The second carpenter seems
to be drinking wine all the time to forget his
problems.

When the waves were high and his disciples were
peeing their pants, the first carpenter calmed
the waves. The second carpenter just pisses on
everyone.

The first carpenter walked on the water.
The second carpenter just claims that a "preparser"
will allow him to do that in the near future.

The first carpenter taught his disciples.
The second carpenter doesn't have time for beginners.

The first carpenter, when He was 12 years old,
impressed the elders and priests with his knowledge.
The second carpenter, as an elder, seems to impress
a bunch of 12-year-olds.

The first carpenter was crucified for the things he said.
The second carpenter is constantly getting crucified for
the things he says. The difference is, the first
carpenter, as he prophesized, rose from the dead;
the second carpenter just keeps digging himself a deeper
and deeper grave.

Cheers, :-)
Randy Hyde

Relevant Pages

  • Re: A Parable of Two Carpenters
    ... LOL Thats impossible RantAll. ... The second carpenter ... > uses his assembler to scare away huge crowds. ...
    (alt.lang.asm)
  • Re: To Frank
    ... after failing in his attempt to attack FASM. ... > "I am a Assembly Teacher whereas you are a Carpenter" ... Come on Betov, if you carpentery is as bad as you assembler, all the ... grovelling you need to do. ...
    (alt.lang.asm)