Re: newbe about API

From: Nathan C. Baker (nbaker2328_at_charter.net)
Date: 04/03/04 

Date: Fri, 2 Apr 2004 17:57:21 -0500

"Beth" <BethStone21@hotmail.NOSPICEDHAM.com> wrote in message
news:K64bc.1155$Ny4.68@newsfep3-gui.server.ntli.net...
<SNIP>
>
> Hey, thanks to the DoD and the threat of nuclear annihilation (of all
> things), you're soon going to have legally downloadable free music
> from all the big names...and it's already thanks to them that you have
> me to bore you senseless with massive posts each and every day! Yeah,
> there's no way you could have guessed that one terrible thing like
> that would ultimately lead to all these other great things...
>
> But, very directly, it _did_...the "internet" was the DoD's internal
> network, designed for nuclear war (it's "decentralised" in structure
> originally to survive _nuclear attack_, not because they were any
> great fans - as I am - of the _good_ of "decentralised" structures
> ;)...until people realised it was much better used for good stuff and
> _the DoD just lost control of their own network for war-mongering
> purposes_...people having a chatter and a natter internationally
> swamped their network...peace literally bashed the war out of the
> internet until the DoD simply just "gave it away", as it had become
> useless for their war-mongering ambitions...being full of people from
> all over the world chatting away _peacefully_ about their _common
> interests_ and other stuff that made all that "war" nonsense look
> exactly as stupid as it really is...truth is, _world leaders_ may want
> wars but _no-one else does_...they start these things and then just
> drag everyone else along...

[ Hello Beth. How are you today? ... Well that's nice. Say, could I talk
to you about items in your post that I disagree with? Now don't cry..
<hands her a tissue> It's not really that bad. Allow me to explain...
<does a 1:500 translation of the following terse comments into bloated
Beth-speak>]

Your version of the "History of the 'Net" makes for a wonderful Sci-Fi story
but is totally unrelated to reality. The internet today is exactly what the
DoD _intended_ it to be. Peace did not "bash" the defensive strategy out of
the 'net. It did not become "useless" for DoD ambitions. And, as witnessed
here with the Betov-Hutch-Randal verbal-nuclear exchange, people do not chat
"away _peacefully_ about their _common interests_ ."

[<hands Beth the entire box of tissues while trying to locate a mop and
bucket>]

The Internet's purpose is to maintain continuity of the _process_ of
civilization -- and that can be government, defense, business, and personal
process. The aftermath of the 9/11 Attack on the World Trade Center is an
excellent example of this and is EXACTLY what the DoD had in mind. If a
business archived all their critical data to multiple locations, they could
easily set up shop elsewhere with all new equipment and, via the internet,
be back in business in no time. This includes loss of employees -- just use
the internet to train the newly-hired monkeys to do the jobs of those they
are replacing. Maybe this is a dehumanizing abstract concept, but the
business _itself_ is not lost to our civilization. Likewise, if entire
cities were destroyed (making a map of the good ole US of A look like swiss
cheeze), they can be rebuilt, re-staffed, and re-_process_ized with minimum
effort. {this is the genius of Mr. Cisco's design ;-) <said factitiously>}

[<places a call to the city mayor to suggest closing the flood wall> Now
cheer up! The world hasn't come to an end. Look, I brought you a
present... <points to a cardboard box with air holes and the word "PUPPY"
somehow scribbled in perfect typeface font>

    ___________
   / /|
  / / |
 / / |
/__________/ |
| | |
| O O O | /
| | /
| P U P P Y| /
| |/
___________/

Here, allow me to get you a drink. What would you like? ... Uh, may I
suggest something stronger? A winecooler perhaps? <at this moment we are
interupted by the radiant light of the Bethgirl signal (used by the mayor
whenever something is afoot which will lead to world-wide ecological doom)
outside the window...followed shortly by sounds on the roof>

                         \ | |
/
                     - B A N G
     ! -
                          / | |
\

\ | /
\ | /
- B O O M ! - - P O
P ! -
/ | \
/ | \

                                             \ | |
/
                                          - C R A S H
   ! -
                                            / | |
\

<the lights go out (because the cable guy on the roof -- startled by the
Bethgirl signal -- stumbles into the blades of the windmill which tosses his
butchered body onto the solar panel)>

What terrible fate awaits our PUPPY?

Will our heroine SAVE THE DAY?

Will the cable guy ever WALK AGAIN?

To find out, TUNE IN next week...

SAME BETH-TIME!

SAME BETH-CHANNEL!]