[Way OT] Snakes

From a gun-related newsgroup and posted here to tickle the
imagination of those who have a finely-honed sense of humor:

--- begin quote

"Two live diamondback rattlesnakes were released in an Arizona movie
theater during a showing of the new film "Snakes on a Plane,"
according to Local 6 News."

http://www.local6.com/news/9717727/detail.html

I'm here to tell you, if *I'M* in the "Snakes" movie and some fuckin'
rattler starts buzzin' under MY seat, there's gonna be one hell of a
lot of holes in the goddamn furniture, along with the smell of
cordite and much yelling, screaming, and out-loud praying! And if I
ever CATCH the sonofabitch that released the reptiles, he's gonna be
in three different states. Simultaneously.

[Evidently the poster did not mean: solid, liquid, and gas. Or
perhaps he did.]

Years ago, somebody tossed a four-foot rubber snake in my
lieutenant's car while his car was being gassed up. The lieutenant
bailed, drew both his .357s and blew the *** out of the patrol car's
front seat. Also took out the transmission, two windows, and the
door. Those on the scene said it was funnier than the night the cat
learned to open the gerbil's cage... except for the lieutenant of
course. After destroying the patrol car, the lieutenant slowly turned
(it was said) to the would-be joker. The only sound that could be
heard was click-click-click... as the hammers continued to fall on
empty cylinders.
There ARE those of us who are not, shall we say, "fond" of
s-creatures.

UPDATE

Apparently there was only ONE snake instead of the reported two and it
evidently snunk (past tense of snake) in on its own. Moreover, the
snake was found in the hallway, not an auditorium.

Since the sneekee (past pluperfect of snake) did not appear to be 18,
it was escorted to a Tupperware holding room and ultimately taken
away.

Other members of its gang (see companion post on rapacious raccoons)
WERE seen on the theatre's property.

http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/0822talker-ON.html

--- end quote

And from the "rapacious raccoon" story:

"Various solutions have been tried: lights, dogs, negotiation, trading
territory for peace, ... but no one has suggested using old
double-barreled Betsy to blow their furry butts to animal kingdom
come..."

Apologies to PETA-people.


.