Lost my way ...

As a student major in computer science, I finally found myself lost in
this field. Last night, I stood up all night long to think what i have
learnt in my four-year's college life and what i need to learn in my
future career. The result make me confused.

When i was still in school, students in higher grade loved to talk
about the "real hackers", who seems had the magic power, and nearly
knew everything essential in their fields. A real hacker can write
code in secret ways that lead to high efficiency. However, It seems i
can never be this kind of guys.

I once participated in the ACM competation. The result is i found my
stupidity at last. I can not implement my algorithms clearly in a
short time. And countless little errors in all implementations of mine
annoy me.

Also, I took part in some open source projects. There still are
problems. I was newbie no only in the discussions of IRC-channel but
also in the forum. This is fine, since I thought i should be newbie at
first. But this newbie life is too long because i don't know what
should i learn to improve myself.

Almost, from every perspective, I was a loser in study. Althought I
had read some additional books, spent lots of time in thinking, I
still lost my way in such a big world...

Posting this message here may be not appropriate, but i really do not
know what else should i do. And it is after learning LISP that i began
to have some confidence to solve this problem.

Thanks for any suggestion. Any personal experience is welcome.

.

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